...I've got 'em bad. They come in waves of thoughts like "I have absolutely no idea what I am talking about so how can I possibly write a paper about this subject?" Of all the things about school--serious school--this is the one thing I hope to get better at--not freaking out when faced with doing the real work of the academy. This is the business that makes for intellectual growth--it shouldn't surprise me that it's actually really difficult laborious work. I will get better at it. I must get better at it.
On a lighter note: shh, don't tell Tina, but I really like the chilly weather. I like the brisk walks, the warm clothes, the beenie caps. When chilly becomes bitter cold, I may change my story. And I don't like how my desk downstairs is right next to the patio, floor to ceiling windows and door. My fingers get so cold, I have to put on my cool new fingerless gloves (with attached mitten coverings). It is an undisputed fact that typing with mittens on is just plain less-effective.
I am also finding graduate school challenging. I'm just glad I only have one class at the moment.
ReplyDeletethis is sister... and when I read your post and hear that you feel you have to do MAJOR "intellectual growth," I have to wonder to myself, "if it's that hard for smart jonny, how would i EVER be able to cope? I can't even use 3 syllable words!" perhaps it's like the stretching and exercising of my fingers for this cello thing...the potential is already in there..it's not something you have to create per se...it's just hidden down deep, needing you to work and dig to grab onto it and pull it to the surface.
ReplyDeletethe good news is, digging is good exercise, and will help you stay warm as the temperature continues to drop. like brother like sister, I too like the fleece jacket and scarf weather. :)
happy digging yo!
heh.
ReplyDeletei don't think it helps, but i'm pretty sure that everyone who writes anything (at least of the academic type) goes through the 'agh! i have nothing valuable to say!' panic ... it's a little acknowledged step in the writing process ... and it's especially true for seminar papers since you *never* *ever* have enough time to read the amount of stuff you'd need to read to write a really good 25-30 page paper while doing coursework.
That said, it does get slightly easier as you've had more classes and can start drawing on things you read for a previous class... and, some profs are really good at incorporating gathering sources into their expectations (metaspencer did this for a class I was in ... *super* helpful)
but, the panic never goes completely away... i may have just finished reading a sh&^load of books but I *still* have nothing new to say ...
oh ... and it never gets bitterly cold here ... (not to a minnesotan at least)
ReplyDeletehave you plastic'd the window by your desk? If you don't need to open that door, sealing it with plastic can make a huge difference.
Wait until it gets "butt-ice cold" you will want to move back to AZ. I hope it isn't windy their also.
ReplyDeleteGood luck writing. Let me know if you need some help. I am a better writer than 7% of people who apply for grad school.
-Brandon
As evidenced by the spelling/grammar on my last comment, I am probably only better than 2%.
ReplyDelete-Brandon
amen brandon...there's no feeling like feeling butt-ice cold.
ReplyDeleteAs you know I like to ice fish. Problems come when you get to bold on thin ice and fall on your stomach. I call it "gutt-ice bold."
ReplyDeletebest comment ever dad. best comment ever.
ReplyDelete